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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Holy Saturday Redux

Waiting, waiting, waiting - We're waiting to hear from Narcie's doctor about the pathology report. We're staying busy in this limbo land. Narcie is staying at Josh and Karen's parsonage a few miles from her house. Mike comes over during the day and will stay tonight while his Mom a.k.a. "GiGi" takes care of the kiddo's. She has been great with them! Narcie couldn't stand being away from them any longer today so Mike brought Evy over this morning and Evy slept on Narcie's chest for an hour, angelic. Tonight Narcie couldn't do without her Enoch-fix so she went over to the house, and it was reunion-time. Sweet. Enoch and Evy were so glad to see their Mommy. She would be staying there except for the doctor's concern about her condition and stamina, plus the stitches that stretch all the way across her head like a braid. Narcie got Enoch & Evy to bed and we've made it back over to Josh & Karen's. It's a weird feeling to me, doing the hokey-pokey with one foot here and another foot there. I can't even imagine what it's like for Narcie and Mike.

At least they gave me something to do today. Narcie's van had two recalls on it, plus it needed a few other maintenance issues done. So what was supposed to be a 2 hour-max visit to the car dealership ended up lasting all day - all of which had me feeling a little out of the loop on the home front. I know I bothered them all, calling to see if they heard anything from the doctor. Waiting sucks! I'm trying to prayer-walk like I do in Columbia and do what Cindy always says, "Turn your worries into prayers." I did that in the parking lot at the car dealership and that was fine except for the salespersons.

This in-between time is such a funky place. You're not sure if you should plan the next day or the next week because you don't know what it may hold in store, but, hey, c'est la vie, n'est pas? (That's life, isn't it?), but in this case I'm starting to feel more like saying, c'est la guerre, n'est pas? (That's war, isn't it?). The battle rages in my heart between the unanswered what-if's and the answer that I know by faith, "All things work together for the good of those who love God... and nothing in all creation will separate me from God's love" (Romans 8). Well, yeah, I believe this. I know what Good Friday feels like and I know Sunday is coming, but this is Holy Saturday, the day between the crucifixion and Easter's glory. What do you do with Holy Saturday? How do I handle this?

Maybe I've been missing some of Easter's power because I've skipped too quickly from Good Friday's gloom to Easter Sunday's resurrection. I've been guilty in too many churches of scheduling Easter Egg Hunts on Holy Saturday. Boy, does that seem pretty stupid right now. Maybe if I had been more able to sit in the stark silent reality of "no news yet" on Holy Saturday I would have been better prepared for this surreal experience. I've been guilty of glossing over God's times of silence and jumping ahead to God's shouts of "Victory!" Why? Because it's easier to hear a trumpet than the sound of crickets. One says, "Hop to" and the other lulls you into silent oblivion. Silence and death are both anathema to being Christian, right?

Wrong. God's silence is a megaphone. Doubt is the handmaiden of faith, not its enemy. Holy Saturday confirms Easter rather than denies it. If Jesus' death weren't a real death, and if Jesus didn't really descend to the dead, then Easter ain't much, is it? Next year Holy Saturday is going to a be observed with a fitting amount of reverent anxiety so that Easter glory might be better appreciated. That's where I am tonight - pondering, praying, waiting - not in vain, but it isn't Easter yet.

2 comments:

  1. Checked your and Narcie's blog over and over again today for news. We are pondering, praying, and waiting with you and all the family as well. Thinking about God's plan of our being supported, strengthened, and encouraged through our church family. Our love to each of you.
    Kathy Griffin

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  2. Tim,
    Got updated on Narcie's status from Tim Rogers yesterday morning, and checked your and Narcie's blog for the latest. Words are so inadequate. Know that I am praying for you all.
    Grace and Peace,
    Lew Wilder

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