The New Normal

I was walking on Saturday morning in my daughter's neighborhood. There's not a lot of space between the houses or townhomes so there's not much yard for kids to use for recreation. Something caught my attention in the semi-darkness of dawn. There was a basketball goal in the driveway of a small home, and there's not a flat driveway in the whole neighborhood. You should have seen how that goal post and net tilted like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

One thought as I walked by was about the need for a neighborhood playground or rec area. Another thought centered on some poor kid who winds up being a great basketball shooter in his own driveway on an off-kilter goal, only to be the worst shooter ever on a real basketball court because he's spent too much time aiming at a target that's off.

We set ourselves up for failure when we aim at the wrong targets. Our New Normal is off in our society. The normal for the kid with the lopsided basketball goal will not help his shooting when he gets on a real court with a level goal. It doesn't do us any good either if we aim at wrong targets. We learn bad habits and think they're okay or normal because that's all we know.

My hope this week is not to yield to a New Normal but to the old but fresh standard of God: Scripture. If I don't stay grounded in what God's Word says then I end up yielding and conforming to the culture around me. I remember the days when I would walk out of a movie theater if certain words were used; now I hardly change the channel when the same words are on the TV. I've been conforming to the New Normal too much. I want to get back to God's standard and stay there. That's my goal this week.

Church Authority and Control

As I have been presiding over Charge Conferences it has been apparent that much of church life, and, I dare say, all life, is about authority and control. Nobody likes to be accused of having "control" issues, but I think we all do. It's a part of our human condition to want control. Isn't that what Adam and Eve were hoping for in their grasp for autonomy in the Garden?

I heard a "thinker" piece of humor some time ago. Somebody asked what the difference is between capitalism and communism. Someone replied that in capitalism man (pardon the sexist language) exploits man; and in communism it's the other way around! Well, it sounds to me that no matter what you call the system, exploitation occurs. Control is when we want things our way and want to be the rulers of our own existence.

Many of the questions that come my way as a District Superintendent are about who gets to decide this or that in the local church: Is it the Pastor? Is it the Church Council? Is it the Trustees? Is it the Finance Committee? Is it the PPRC? Who's in charge? These questions, however important, aren't the penultimate most important question. Sure, on a specific point of church law, the question may be about one of the groups mentioned, but as Christians the real question is about who Jesus is in our personal and corporate lives.

All of our efforts to go our own way and manipulate power into control miss the mark of being under the Lordship of Christ. If Jesus is Lord then we yield to the Mind of Christ. Christ modeled humility rather than pride. Jesus did not try to grasp authority. He already had/has it! It was a non-issue for Him. It should be a non-issue for us. Jesus is in charge!

So when I sense and see the buzz-saw tenor of some of our church squabbles it's easy to know that Jesus isn't the One in authority. If a church is wrapped up in warfare over who's in charge or control then it's not a healthy church. The situation then becomes difficult as I preside over these meetings. How do I speak the truth in love and point out the fact that we're seeking something we're not supposed to have?

I think the answer lies in my own exercise of my authority as "Presiding Elder," the old lingo and title for District Superintendents, and the title still used on the Charge Conference Minutes' form. If I try to beat people up with the "power" of my office and make threats about sending the church a less-than-adequate pastor, church closure/merger, or some other very real possibility, then I'm not acting from the vantage point of being like Christ.

Perhaps the best way to be in authority is to be like Christ who was non-reactive before Pilate; and who said from the Cross, "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do." Humility and non-reactive leadership through listening and speaking only God's words are the answers that I hope to model. Godly authority is about love not control. May it be so as I/we try to submit to God's authority, and lead others to do the same.

Clergy Communion

A few weeks ago several Columbia District clergy and I went to Mt. Mitchell and fellowshipped. We even went down the mountain for Thursday Night College Football. How we got back in the gate at the park is another story, and one worth telling sometime. We needed that time together sharing and having fun. Unfortunately, our life together has low moments, too. I just came back from a hospital room as proof.

However, I just saw our covenant community as clergy in action again. One of the pastors in my district just found out that he has acute leukemia. Tomorrow he starts 24/7 aggressive chemo. We're not at all sure about the prognosis. I spent time with him and his wife last night and again today. Their faith is strong, but they are shell-shocked. I have been working with his church since last night to cover the ministry needs, and I hope the church rallies around him. It has been a tough appointment, not because the people are unChristian. They are wonderful, but they are still grieving the moving of their former pastor of 13 years. That has brought out the usual grief-related potshots at the current pastor, and the adage "Don't let worry kill you, let the church help" has been too true in this situation. My prayer is that healing comes to the pastor and the church.

At the hospital a few minutes ago another one of our clergy came into the room with Bible and Communion elements in hand. He read poignantly from Psalm 20 - Read it! I have never felt the power of those words of comfort so eloquently read. I gave the Great Thanksgiving and we communed in a way far deeper than I have experienced the sacrament in a long time. When United Methodist clergy start our ministry our membership is transferred from our local church to the Annual Conference. The Annual Conference becomes our church home. I saw it today and I am wonderfully encouraged. May God grant us all a support community where we find sanctuary. Amen.

Wrecks & Remembrance

What a week! Normal but not exactly - charge conferences, consultations, crises, and a crash. I was on the way to back-to-back charge conferences on Tuesday night when suddenly I encountered a metal grate about 7 feet long with metal crisscrossing bars. It was in my lane lying there as I was tooling in my Mini Cooper at 70 mph. The truck four car-lengths in front of me didn't touch it. Then I saw it and could swerve quick enough - whack! This thing was about 3 inches high but felt like a boulder. I pulled over and my front right bumper was mangled, light missing, wires lying in the road, and a humongus gash in the passenger side frame through part of the door. When I looked in the rear-view mirror the grate had shattered into shrapnel. No one else was around thankfully, but my 8 month-old car took the explosion. My car could still run even though my airconditioning and gauges registered -40 degrees, and my engine light was bright yellow. I called the Mini Service Dept. and they said I could still drive it unless the light turned red. I made it to both charge conferences and limped home with the motor and car shuddering as I went. They towed it to Charlotte on Wednesday, the closest Mini dealer. I hope it's fixed like new.

The same could be said for a lot of areas of my life - to be fixed like new. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says Christ makes us new creatures, but I know too well about myself and others that though we're forgiven, scars remain. I can forgive or be forgiven but the memory of life's crashes remain. Oh, to have a poor memory. I hope I can look at my car when it's fixed and not "see" mangled metal. Someone said forgiveness is like pulling an unneeded or unwanted nail out of the wall, only to have the scar left there until it's spackled over and repainted. Too often, even when the issue has been resolved, our mind still retains the memory of the spot. We end up missing the beautfiul wall and focus on the tragic memory.

Sure, I know sometimes we have been hurt so badly that we NEED to remember life's lessons in order to keep them from happening again; i.e., "Don't throw your pearls before swine," and "Be innocent as doves and shrewd as serpents." However, focusing too much on past scars makes us miss the wonder of grace and repair. My prayer is that I am being made new, and that I remember the same about everyone else. Yes, I don't want to be burned again by a serial sinner or scam artist, but at least I want to hope for the best until I'm proven wrong, and then, guess what, I need to forgive "70 times 7" and keep hoping for the best. What a struggle - praying that everything is being made new, and knowing the car has been wrecked; grace but not cheap grace; forgiveness without too sharp a memory. It's a challenge everday.

Zingers and Well/Ill-Intentioned Dragons

I'm a creature of habit although I do like to try new things. Being shocked by the taste of a new dish isn't something I relish when I already know what I like. As I have been engaged in multiple Charge Conferences at churches, and Consultations with pastors, I have attempted to go beyond my comfort zone and ask questions that I hope exceed the mundane same-old-same-old. I like to have time for a town-hall style meeting where we actually air questions that need asking and answering. One question that I've been asking to help prod things along is, "Why do we have Charge Conferences? What is the theological reason to do this?"

Now, to be sure, it's wrapped up in United Methodism's methodical DNA to add up the numbers of new members, deaths, transfers, and all the other offical things we vote on and hear about at Charge Conference; but all this belies a deeper purpose. Our emphasis on sanctifying grace is supposed to lead us into a closer walk with God, and we believe that we need to check on our progress. Therefore, District Superintendents come around and ask the questions and look at the reports. We're answering two basic questions: "What business are we in?" and "How's business?"

So far Charge Conferences have gone pretty well. There have been a few tense moments and I have received and offered some zingers, but that's all a part of supervision and the give-and-take of being a part of a connectional system. One of the things that I need to work on is not being reactive and staying calm. There have been well and ill-intentioned dragons in more than a few of the meetings in which I've been. What to do or say in such a moment is a perpetual question.

The following is an example of a poor zinger plus poor timing, not the way I want to be, although secretly I may be tempted: There were two evil brothers. They were rich, and used their money to keep their evil ways from the public eye. They even attended the same church, and looked to be perfect Christians. Then their pastor retired, and a new one was appointed. Not only could he see right through the brothers' deception, but he was also a good preacher so the church started to grow by leaps and bounds. A fund raising campaign was started to build a new sanctuary. All of a sudden, one of the brothers died. The remaining brother sought out the new pastor the day before the funeral and handed him a check for the amount needed to finish paying for the new building. "I have only one condition," he said. "At my brother’s funeral, you must say that he was a saint." The pastor gave his word, and deposited the check. The next day, at the funeral, the pastor did not hold back. "He was an evil man," the pastor said. "He cheated on his wife and abused his family." After going on and on in this vein for awhile, he concluded with, "But compared to his brother, he was a saint."

The Burden

I have a sense of unease this morning. It's Tuesday and I am already longing for the weekend. I preached last Sunday and then presided over 3 Charge Conferences, had consultations every hour on the hour yesterday with clergy, plus worked in a few crisis situations; then experienced a great Charge Conference last night. Consultations will begin again in less than 45 miniutes, go all day, then another Charge Conference tonight. I did walk for 45 minutes early this morning in the dark - praying, pondering - trying to give it all to God, but here at the office the dread has come back.

I just reread my testimony in a misconduct trial, and that is what probably pushed me back over to the dark side of pessimism. I'm overcome with sorrow about the state of "affairs" that I have to deal with. Nobody blushes anymore, whether they are lying to my face or hedging the truth. Last night I looked forward to getting home and watching the season premier of one of my favorite TV shows, "House." The build-up in the paper was well-hyped. It said that it would be another Emmy-winning performance by Hugh Laurie, and finally "he would have a mature relationship with a woman."

Well, as good as the show was, especially in its plug for good therapy and how to deal with pathological persons, the "mature" relationship House had was with a woman who was married with children. In light of Governor Sanford and the idiocy of adultery (There's nothing adult about adultery), I am appalled at the lowering of our standards of morality. Manipulation, half-truths, and outright lies have jaded me to expect lesser of people rather than better. My gift of discernment has been in overdrive and it's wearing me out.

One of the things I did yesterday was read a person's paper on doctrine and theology. One section was on humanity and the need for divine grace. Sure, we have been made in God's image: moral, legal, and social; but we have fallen beyond any semblance of self-repair. Total Depravity is total, and only by God's gace in Jesus can we find salvation.

My prayer for today is to hear truth in every conversation, spoken in love with accountability. As a District Superintendent, I must expect no less if I truly believe that God saves us through Jesus to transform us for the transformation of the world. I long for days of truth-telling seasoned with love and grace; but not "cheap grace" or avoidance.

Should I Pray for My Team

The longest prayer I ever heard, and I mean ever, was at a high school football game. A pastor in that small town had evidently been saving up for his big chance to pray under the “Friday Night Lights.” He prayed for the football players, the referees, the coaches, the assistant coaches, the cheerleaders, the bands, the parents, the teachers, the school administrators, and the highway patrol officers who were directing traffic. No joke, he prayed so long and for so many people that the game started 20 minutes late!

Don’t get me wrong! I’m all for prayer, and “Sweet Hour of Prayer” is one of my favorite hymns. Nevertheless, prayer at sporting events bothers me, and it’s not just because I’m such a stickler about the separation of church and state. I think my problem stems from being a University of South Carolina Gamecock fan. I grew up going to all the games. I heard Dr. Lauren Brubaker of U.S.C.’s Religion Department pray at every game year after year. Here’s my problem as a U.S.C. fan. If you pray for the best team to win, that’s probably the other team. If you pray for nobody to get hurt, that might negate Carolina’s only hope of winning. Bottom line, I agree with Hall of Fame catcher, Yogi Berra. Once, when a batter stepped into the box and made the sign of the cross, Yogi said to him, “Let’s just leave God outta this, okay?”

Okay, I yield. I know prayer helps us in everything, but really… should we pray for our team to win? There’s an anonymous tongue-in-cheek story that puts this question in perspective: “Jesus Christ said he had never been to a football game. So we took him to one, my friends and I. It was a ferocious battle between the Protestant Punchers and the Catholic Crusaders. The Crusaders scored first. Jesus cheered wildly and threw his hat high up in the air. Then the Punchers scored. And Jesus cheered wildly and threw his hat high up in the air. This seemed to puzzle the man behind us. He tapped Jesus on the shoulder and asked, “Which side are you rooting for, my good man?” “Me?” replied Jesus, visibly excited by the game. “Oh, I’m not rooting for either side. I’m just enjoying the game.” The questioner turned to his neighbor and sneered, “Hmm, an atheist.”

Is God an atheist when it comes to sports? What harm is there in praying for good results about a game, a great round of golf, or a super outing on the lake? The answer is, “Nothing,” unless we take God’s apparent disregard or ambivalence to our request as indifference. God cares, for sure, about every facet of our lives, but maybe God has bigger fish to fry than who wins the game, and God expects us to be the cooks. Luke DeRoeck put it this way in a letter to the editor of Sports Illustrated, “To suggest that God really cares about the outcome of a sporting event is preposterous. Conservatively, 20 million people in the United States went to bed hungry on Super Bowl Sunday. A God who cares about the outcome of the Super Bowl is not a God I ever want to meet.”

Being a good sports fan is great. I know I love my team. Being a disciple, however, is more important than anything!