The Night Before

Man, This night before your daughter has brain surgery is not easy. I am honestly caught between being freaked out wired with my palms itching and sensing non-existent fire ants crawling on my feet. My spirit is frazzled though I've been calling on the Lord all day for days - should have been doing that a little more, but, as they say, "There are no atheists in foxholes," better late than never.

I really want to thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers for Narcie. Her surgery has been moved up to 11:15 am Eastern tomorrow Friday June 11. Tomorrow is Cindy's birthday and I know what she wants: She wants Narcie whole and well. Narcie had a good cell phone call from her doctor last night that she wrote about on her blog: http://narciejeter.wordpress.com. I am going to try to blog my way through the surgery tomorrow or give you a recap when the doctor tells us the news and we get to see her.

I thought I knew what parent's went through over these 30+ years of ministry when they lost a child. I had no idea of the aching hole in your heart, the overwhelming anxiety, the way that every nerve ending is hanging out to be stepped on by the slightest thing. I just didn't know it could be this bad.

It was good to be at annual conference with Narcie last night and the part of today that we were there. When a person is ordained as she and I have been, and even her brother, Josh, as a provisional member, your membership is transferred from your home church to the annual conference. Of course as P.K.'s (preacher's kids) they have had many "home churches" and I have mine at Edgefield UMC in Edgefield, SC, and they have all been and are appreciated. But still the annual conference is our intersecting link, our lodestone for our heritage and hope. It literally becomes your home church. It certainly felt that way today. Every hug was a prayer. United Methodist Connectionalism is going to help save us as a denomination and Wesleyan Movement because it is a vehicle for the most powerful witness of grace that my family has ever experienced. I cannot imagine going through life without the Connection which is not at its best a top-down or bottom-up connection, but is a horizontal one where we let God's Spirit flow through us as equal recipients of Jesus' love.

Pray for us tonight that the nerves settle down and that Narcie gets restful restoring sleep; that Mike rests well and is a continuing strength to her; that Enoch & Evy don't get scared because they sense something is wrong with Mommy; and that Cindy gets her birthday wish tomorrow: Narcie, alive and well.Thanks again,
tim

Seasons of Love

This is a waiting time and anybody who knows me, knows that's not easy for me. We had an interesting day yesterday with Narcie and Mike while Mike's Mom took care of Enoch and Evy Grace. There were 2 MRI's, four doctors, two nurses, one of whom Narcie said was reminiscent of Dr. Gregory House of "House" fame. They didn't tell us anything and the old adage, "No news is good news" isn't what it's cracked up to be. This waiting place, a la Dr. Suess' "Oh, the Places You will Go," is a rough place, but we'll all sit there time and time again. It's what we do with the waiting that makes the difference I guess.

I've been pondering God's word about waiting and being still. Psalm 46:10, 11 rings true: "Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress." Stillness and not panic; trusting in God -the God who in Jesus enfleshed Himself into our existence, the good and the bad - this is what is keeping me sane right now.

Psalm 46 caused me to remember II Chronicles 20 where Jehoshaphat, king of Judah (Which means "praise," by the way) was surrounded by invading armies. He called for a fast and prayed (vs. 12b) "... We have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you." Then the Spirit of the Lord came upon Jahaziel and he said, (vss. 15b, 17) "... This is what the Lord says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. FOR THE BATTLE IS NOT YOURS, BUT GOD'S; You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; STAND FIRM AND SEE THE DELIVERANCE AND SEE THE DELIVERANCE THE LORD WILL GIVE YOU..." Then the neatest and most illogical thing was decided. Instead of putting his best troops at the front of his army, Jeshoshaphat put the choir up front (vs. 21b) "to sing to the Lord and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying: 'Give thanks to the Lord, for his love endures forever.'"

Then it says (vs. 21) "As they BEGAN to sing and praise..." the Lord defeated the enemies. So today in the waiting place I am going to praise the Lord, stand firm, and wait with hope, keeping my eyes on Jesus. Every bit of life is an opportunity to find that quiet place deep within ourselves where we exalt the Lord, not our fears. Life is fleeting and made up of minutes that are minute chances to love, not hate, to make peace and not hold grudges, to hear God's voice above the cacophony of crows out to get us. Two of the songs that keep playing in my head are "Seasons of Love" from Rent and Five for Fighting's "100 Years." I'm praying for Narcie to have more and more seasons of love to add to the ones she's already lived so well, a 100 years to proclaim Jesus' love. With Jesus, eternity lasts even longer than that. It is a timeless truth especially in the midst of life's frailties: Give thanks to the Lord, for his love endures forever.


I hope this inspires you as it does me to listen, listen and love, love, every minute.


This video/song underscores my desire that we appreciate every moment and never miss what we give away. In the words of Jim Elliott, great missionary who gave his life to take the Gospel to the Auca Indians: "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

You've Got a Friend

In my Bible reading I've been pondering Jesus' resurrection actions and community. I know that all 4 Gospels have a different audience, etc. but in the midst of all this with Narcie I am really struck by the end of Luke & John's Gospels. The other Gospel writers pretty much stop with the actual resurrection unless you count the brief, but important meeting at the end of Matthew where Jesus lays on them "The Great Commission," or stop at verse 8 at the end of Mark with the two Mary's hearing the Easter news but filled with fear.

Anyway what strikes me in Luke and John is how Jesus shows up as the Disciples are together. In Luke the community is the two on the road to Emmaus that He breaks bread with; then the rest of the Disciples. Sounds pretty simlar to "wherever two or more are gathered in my name," doesn't it? Then there's John's account where Jesus first appears to solitary Mary which reminds me of Narcie all alone in a strange hospital in Virginia hearing that she has a brain tumor. Then in John, Jesus appears to the whole crew, then back to the individual Thomas who had his doubts and wasn't with the whole group when Jesus first appeared, which reminds me of some of my frets when I am alone with all of the "what if's."

But then I really get into John's account. He has Jesus going fishing with the Disciples in Galilee, with the charcoal ready for the fish. John ends his resurrection account of Jesus with Peter being restored to the community and calls him to take care of the rest of the community: "Feed my lambs," "Take care of my sheep," and "Feed my sheep."

Man, if you don't get anything out of the junk that happens to you, you'd better get this: You're not in it alone. I have seen the personal facebook notes to Narcie, the Prayers for Narcie Jeter group page on Facebook, the emails and facebook comments to me, and have received phone calls and hugs to boot. Ain't it true that there are no Lone Ranger Christians? We are in community. We have each other. We support each other. We pray for each other. Together, like John's message, I think, we best reflect the truth that Jesus is alive when we're together. Sure, He is with us when we're alone, but He wants US to know, not just the "little ole me's" of the world. There's strength in numbers and Jesus shapes us into a body/church that works best when we're working together. I want to thank you for your being signs of the resurrection for me and my family. Carole King's song, "You've got a Friend" keeps whirling in my head. Have a listen and remember, He's alive, in US. In United Methodism's terms, we call it "Connectionalism."

Recap & "WHY?" Questions

Seasons change and so does everything else. Waiting until…whatever happens is wasted time. Living moment to moment in God’s grace is sufficient for every time of need especially when facing the reality that everything changes on a dime. My world was changed that fast last week. I had been spending a few wonderful days with some of the Columbia District clergy for our time-apart canoeing the New River and camping.

Then the phone call came through that our daughter, Narcie, who is married to a wonderful guy, Mike Jeter, and mother to our 2 grandchildren, Enoch (3) and Evy (1.5), had a seizure while she was with students and other campus ministers at the United Methodist Student Forum in Winchester, Va. Narcie is the Wesley Foundation Director at Winthrop University. They have subsequently found a tumor on her brain and are waiting in these few days to find out what it is, what motor skills will surgery affect, what is the best course of action, and more…and with each answer there are more questions. She is scheduled for surgery this Friday, June 11 (Cindy’s birthday) at 1:30 pm at Carolina’s Medical Center in Charlotte. Please pray for her.

I have taught theology in church and seminary. I have been with people when they faced the unanswerable question of, “If we have an omnipotent God who loves us, then why do bad things happen to good people?” I have seen babies die, young parents, good people with so much to give and I think my theodicy is pretty sound, but it’s shaky right now. Theodicy is the theological study of suffering. It literally means to “judge God.” That’s something I think we all want to avoid, but read Job and you’ll find that God is okay with it. He can handle our anger and our questions of “Why?”

I think the main reason God is okay with us balling up our fists and pounding on His chest is because He utterly loves us. The other reason that comes to mind is because God doesn’t cause any of our suffering. God does what God does best and that is to redeem the junk that comes our way and help us. The problem is why do some people get the help and others don’t. My dad was given 6 weeks to 6 months to live with cancer when he was 48 and lived another 36 years. He outlived his first doctor, but my mother who was frankly more of a saint died too young and too quick. I have buried someone’s only child who died in a freak accident only to hear her minister talk the stuff of Rick Warren and God’s will and purpose in taking another angel to heaven. Well, that doesn’t cut it when you’re on the receiving end of tragedy. THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN BE SAID.

There is something that can be done, and that is to listen to people, hug them, let them know that they don’t suffer alone, that Jesus knows all our griefs, and causes none of them. Why do bad things happen? What’s my theodicy? Bad things happen because: #1 Our choices #2 The choices of others #3 The general decay that’s in the world since Adam and Eve first sinned (probably the most likely culprit behind suffering) #4 Evil (yep, EVIL). But no matter if the tragedy is because of evil, Jesus is greater than all the principalities and powers put together. But not everyone is healed, and if it just depended upon faith then I think there would be some 200-300 year-old saints walking around, but they aren’t. They die and go home to be with Jesus which is palatable if they die at 90 and not 30 with 2 small children, a loving husband, and a vibrant ministry.

So why doesn’t Jesus act quickly and decisively, and, trust me, I’m still asking for the whole shebang for Narcie when they do the Functional MRI on Tuesday. The answer is love and freedom. Jesus loves us enough to let freedom reign. We’re not puppets on a string made to love God and shun evil. The whole creation acts freely and Katrinas and tornadoes whip us upside down. So what’s left? The answer is the same answer that’s always been there: faith, sheer faith in a God who can turn Joseph’s near-death experience into something that worked for his brothers' good; or Jesus’ crucifixion into the salvific fulcrum upon which the redemption of the whole world balances. So in the words of the “Casting Crowns” song “Voice of Truth” I am going to “Choose to listen and believe in the Voice of Truth.” I choose God and His power even when I don’t understand and probably never will on this side of heaven.

Speechless

Most of you know that my daughter, Rev. Narcie Jeter, had a seizure last weekend and has been diagnosed with a brain tumor. She's scheduled for more tests to determine how to best protect her motor skills during the surgery next Friday, June 11. We're praying they don't find the tumor! But, I'm more than a little like the dad who told Jesus about his child's healing, "I believe, help my unbelief." I'm on an emotional yo-yo. She's my baby. I love her more than I can ever say. No offense to my two boys, but I have to agree with my late dad who said, "I would trade all 3 of you boys for 1 daughter." I love all 3 of our children, but Narcie has been so special since day 1. Unfortunately for her, she's the one most like me of our brood, and I am often sorry for her sake. Josh and Caleb are a grand mixture of Cindy and me, each with their own uniqueness and grand gifts. Narcie is a prophet. She reads people, nails it when things aren't what they should be, but loves beyond her own strength to give love, and keeps on doing it.

Please pray for her. I am speechless from not knowing what or how to pray, and from tears as I read the support that you all are sending her way, my way, our way. The cadre of churches that we've been blessed to serve and fellow clergy that we call friends and colleagues has been an anchor in this storm. I am reminded that Jesus told his disciples he was going ahead of them to the other side of the lake. He doesn't just get us to the middle and watch us drown. He gets us to the other side. I'm looking forward to Narcie being on the other side of this. I don't care about me. I'm willing to die right now if I knew it would make her well. I feel that way about all of our children. Everyone who's a parent knows what I'm talking about.

God is our parent and I know He didn't cause this. I have taught theodicy enough at Candler to know all the pat cliched answers to why bad things happen to people and none of the answers is adequate. "It is what it is" doesn't cut it either. We are people of faith so in "Casting Crowns" fashion, "I choose to listen and believe the VOICE OF TRUTH." You, our family - biological, clergy, and fellow sojourners - have been God's clarion call, God's voice of truth. Keep talking to God for us, and keep encouraging Narcie. To follow what is going on with her and read the wise & wonderful words of my little girl, a strong woman of faith who has and will make a difference in many lives for years to come: Go to http://narciejeter.wordpress.com. Keep praying for her, Mike, Enoch & Evy. Thanks and I love you,
tim

Relational to be Relevant

You have to be relational to be relevant - that's my observation. I'm in the midst of spending 3 hours with each of the clergy in the Columbia District, doing whatever they want to do. It's fantastic. We get to know and appreciate one another on a level that goes well past anything with me behind a desk either in my office or at a charge conference. Yesterday I spent the afternoon feeding Bison that were a bit disconcerting in their size and demeanor. I'm sure that's a feeling that happens with people interacting with District Superintendents. Well, maybe that's stretching it, but I can say this. You get to know the bison and share some food, and all is well.

Last night we had an Introductory Visit with a new pastor and new church. It was my last visit of maybe 19 in the District. Those visits have gone well as people were authentically Christian and open to new relationships. What I heard last night was so refreshing as this particular church and new pastor want to Rethink Church and get outside the walls. The overarching theme: You have to be relational to be relevant. Frangelism works. You know: Friends, Relatives, Acquaintance, and Neighbors are invited to the Gospel Feast. I dare say we need to reach enemies, too. Anyway, people are as open to Jesus as we are open to them, meeting them where they are and exuding Christ enough so they want to know, "What's up with _______?"

Well, what's up with you today? I pray for a great day spent with laity and clergy in the Columbia District. I'm headed out in a few minutes to spend the day relating to people all over the place. That's the only way I can even dare to be relevant to a hurting world.

UMC Constitutional Vote Results and Connectionalism

Connectionalism just got a kick-start by United Methodists from around the world. All 23 constitutional amendments offering a regional conference, diocesan polity have been declared by the Council of Bishops as "rejected." As a lover of our polity, I am elated. For me, to have voted otherwise would have been antithetical to Wesley's oft quoted adage, "The world is my parish." We would have ended up with fragmented competing entities with insurmountable differences.

Connectionalism is in our DNA because it reflects Wesley's theology of sanctification. In his mind we best reflect the Moral and Social Images of God. If God is perfect and dares in Matthew's Gospel to declare that we are to be perfect as God is perfect then it's possible to be made perfect in love, by God's Grace and the reign and rule of Jesus in our lives. As for the social image of God, God reveals God's self to us via the Trinity, the Three-One-God. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit reflect a divine dance as in the Eastern Orthodox understanding of the Trinity's perichoresis. I love that word: peri - around and choresis - dancing. God is in a social community within God's self always moving, dancing, and dynamic in working on behalf of creation. If God reflects community so should we!

So our connectionalism is under girded by our theology of being followers of Christ, a social community, a connection of people who desire to be transformed by Jesus and transform the world! Our connectionalism, like God's internal perichoresis, works best when it is appreciated as horizontal rather than vertical. Connectionalism that is vertical is anti-social at worst and breeds paternalism and all sorts of resistance to a top-down hierarchical "You do it this way or else!" limited thinking. God is in process always working and that is best seen in a connectionalism that promotes equity, shared ministry, and collaboration.

The vote on the constitutional amendments feels like we are getting it right and moving toward mutuality. As we (as I'm a member of the Worldwide UMC Study Committee)continue to do our work, I pray that we embrace God's self-revelation as a means for us to discern how we are to live into the UMC's global nature. Go connectionalism! It's a God-thing!